If I had a dollar for every time I have heard or read, adoptions are just so expensive I would have this adoption paid for. :) I have to tell you that I struggle with how much adoption costs, but I remember it is a life. Many things run through my mind. About 2 and half years ago I found myself not seeking adoptions because of the cost of them and I would say this statement and still do. To be honest I thought it was ridiculous and unpractical, but I am going to share the journey God has brought me through. Before Malachi I really struggled with the amount of money it costs to help children up for adoption. Could it really cost this much? I found myself struggling thinking I really wanted to help but the cost of it was too great. Another thing that I struggled and still struggle with is the fact of how many people I could help with the amount of money that it cost to adopt, and then I am reminded this is a life of a child. One that is precious in the sight of God.
I think one way that I see it differently is how we view children that are up for adoption. We can choose to say, "well it is just too expensive to adopt" or we can choose to make a difference, and pray. No one in their right mind would give birth to a child to find out it needed heart surgery and say, "well it is just too expensive and there is no way to pay for it" If there was a way to help save that child's life, you would do everything you could to help. I understand that it is not all in our hands but rather God's and we are his instruments that He chooses to use.
Again it comes back to the practicality thing. It is not practical. Some of my other friends that have adopted and I joke about how many things could have been bought with the amount we have spent on adoption. But they are just things were moth and rust destroy (Matthew 6), but this is life. After having been through it and seeing the other side now, I would choose spending money on adoption any day over earthly treasures because after all when it is all said and done, they earthly treasures mean nothing.
Let me share with you something else that happened on my journey. We were blessed with hearing of a wonderful testimony of an African American man who's heart was very hard toward God. A prisoner in a local correction facility. Not just any prisoner but one that had killed someone before. These local prisoners are involved in Bible Studies at this correction facility and on occasion they get to come to church as a group. This one particular prisoner did not know Jesus but came to the service with a harden heart. He did not believe that white people could love black people and had built walls around his heart. Well I will let you read a letter that the man who had worked with this prisoner wrote to Malachi after this prisoner told him what happened.
WHEN LIFE SPRINGS FORTH FROM THE HEART OF GOD
In the summer of 2008 a young man named Malachi came to live with this new family, and his destiny. The Lord had prepared both the hearts and home for Malachi's arrival, and for the glory of God.
In the same summer another man, who was slowly dying from despair, anger and pride was being prepared by God to see his life restore even in the midst of severe adversity.
A few short months before your meeting, very likely about the same time as your birth, Mr. D [I decided not to use his real name] had his first encounter with the living God. Mr. D is the longest surviving prisoner in the Colorado Department of Corrections he had never, not from birth even known love or acceptance. He literally seethed with hate for all men.
This first encounter was like a new dawn, the beginning of which was barely discernible. But the change was irrevocable and set up Mr. D for several events that would prepare him to meet you and the heart of Jesus.
Malachi, your parents began a holy pursuit for you, something the Holy Spirit would not abate until the heart of God was satisfied. This unquenchable love began before they even knew your name, or had seen your face. See....the Lord asked them to love what he loved and to also experience what he feels when someone so precious, so longed for, escapes his embrace.
In you and Mr. D the Lord, and on behalf of your parents, said "That's enough, I shall have the object of my affection."
Now from this first encounter, every time Mr. D expressed his anger, someone would return forgiveness. When he rejected, they accepted; always with a specific blessing or word from God. This confounded specific blessing or word from God. This confounded each lie that he unconsciously accepted as his own, his holy inheritance. In his confusion, fear replaced every other emotion. When once all men feared him and drew back from him, now he feared these same men who wanted to draw near to him. They prayed for him and refused the spirit of rejection any further right to possess his life or destiny in Jesus. This went on until the day your dad and mom brought you to church, the same day Mr. D accepted the invitation to leave the "camp" with the chaplain and several other inmates for the first time in many years.
So then, that day, during breakfast before church, Mr. D intentionally chose a seat separated from everyone.
But as he tells the story....pretty soon people just started coming over to sit all around him. They were mostly children and mom's who sat so close that they touched him at both elbows. He was hemmed in by innocence. He said that his heart was trying to accept what was both so strange and warm while it was also experiencing suspicion and fear. It was all he could do to keep from leaving from the table and fleeing outside.
Now for perspective, Mr. D is 6'2" and 285 lbs of muscle. He is the most notorious and feared member of the O-G's. The O-G's or "old guys" are old timers, repeat offenders often convicted of murders, robbery, assault and the like. Mr. D was a repeat offender with all the above. He breathed in air and exhaled hate and rage...until these children, without guile or lenses to see, just walked right through his defenses and asked him how he liked his pancakes.
"I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3-6)
Anyway, having survived breakfast and a quick retreat to the upper grass area for worship he watched as everyone settled in by families and groups.
As the Lord would have it your family became the object of his attention. He noticed how several of the young girls were always around your mother's arms, looking into the bundle that he couldn't yet see himself. There as no mistaking your parents love but also their joy in sharing you with others. He then saw that amazing love was for a child that was like him. He had no place in his experience no grid, to see a white mother holding a black child which she loved as if from her own womb. More to the point Mr. D saw for the first time the unconditional love of God expressed in your mother's eyes and face and directed whole hearted to/for you.
He said that if all of these people...white people...could love both you and him alike he knew that God was then real and could be trusted.
It took a few more days of the Holy Spirit soaking his heart but Mr. D accepted Jesus Christ as his one Lord and savior. From that moment he began to testify to the love of God, often and in every opportunity he shared about you in your mother's arms.
Malachi, you are the fulfillment and realization of a seed of hope and sacrifical love that God placed in your parents heart. They, under the unction of the Holy Sprit, were required to pursue you in adversity until you were captured by their watering faith and the blessings of heaven. Mr. D found life in Jesus when he was given the moments opportunity to watch the fulfillment of God's creative love in your resting in the arms of love.
Live in the knowledge that your birth and life is with purpose and under the constant care of our Father God.
It was worth every penny!
On a side note: we are going to be finding out some important things this week and I would ask that you specifically pray for us on Tuesday and hopefully soon I can share the details. Thanks!! Love ya all.